The beginning

I am 30 years old, 5'7" and 286 pounds. That's right - 286 pounds. There comes a time where you say enough is enough and this is that time. I went to Weight Watchers on Friday and that started this journey. I am so excited to lose the weight and scared that I won't be able to do it. I don't want to give up (again) but it's so easy to give up and grab a beer and pizza. This is a strange place to be. I have been on Weight Watchers since Friday (so on my 4th day now) and already I feel like food is running my life. My entire thought process revolves around what did I last eat, when do I eat again and what am I going to eat? It's strange and no one would know this is what I am thinking about but it is. It's all I think about. And for good reason.

I have always been overweight. I have never been "normal". I have always wanted to be a regular weight and enjoy life like everyone else does. I hate that I can't go play with my kids, I hate that I can't wear what I want to wear, I hate that I can't go swimming without feeling like everyone is looking at me and judging me, I hate that when I enter a room the first thing I do is look around to see if anyone is bigger than me, and I hate how depressed I have gotten from being this weight.

The purpose of this blog - to be accountable. I am under no delusion that I will have many readers and followers, but I want to keep a record of how I feel as I do this - the highs and lows. It's a long journey to try to lose 135 pounds, but I have to do it. I have my goals now I just have to reach them.

The first goal - set by Weight Watchers - 5% of my current weight. That is 14 pounds. Seems like a lot, but it's better than thinking about 135 pounds.

My first long term goal - My anniversary. In November, my husband and I will be celebrating our 10th anniversary and I want to look good. I was fat at our wedding and I've been fat ever since. I want to look good and wear a killer dress! My husband is SO good looking and fit and he deserves a wife who looks nice as well.

It's going to be a long journey, but it's worth it in the long run!